Glen Beamish
12-03-2003, 10:38 AM
Here are some of the best responses from the original Hollywood squares stars.
Q: If your going to make a parachute jump, you should at least be how high?
A: Charlie Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: According to Cosmo Magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it OK to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to dimish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do ****'s Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow stawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not Peter, I'm too busy growing strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on it's head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people.
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of the body, what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde" Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: Yes, if you hold their head under the water long enough.
Q: If your going to make a parachute jump, you should at least be how high?
A: Charlie Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: According to Cosmo Magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it OK to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to dimish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do ****'s Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow stawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not Peter, I'm too busy growing strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on it's head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people.
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of the body, what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde" Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: Yes, if you hold their head under the water long enough.