View Full Version : Daughters getting echoes on Friday
03-30-2008, 06:04 PM
Well, I've kept it from them all long enough (4+ months since I was diagnosed). We've already had our son (4) echoed and so far, he is fine and I didn't have to tell him a thing! Little different with our 6 and 12-year old daughters. I have decided to NOT just tell them that it is a "normal" part of their well-child check-ups but to take everyone's advice on here and tell the truth (in as few details as possible). I will still not say much to the 6-year old but I will tell my oldest, Rebecca, what is going on and why they are all being screened. I've decided to tell her on Wednesday - that will give her enough time to let it sink in but not enough time to really DWELL on it before the tests Friday morning. We were in Florida over spring break this past week and she wanted to know why I didn't want to go on the 2-hour kayaking trip which I normally would have jumped at! I guess that it's time to stop all the secrets. Wish me luck and pray for good results.
03-30-2008, 07:04 PM
I'm happy you've decided to level with the kids. I know it's tough, really tough. But overall I think it will be best. I will cross my fingers and pray with you they are clear. Please update us when you can. And I hope you had a great trip to Florida!
03-30-2008, 07:25 PM
Rainey, Wishing you the best - you're their Mom and you know when it's time. My prayers are with you - Linda
03-30-2008, 07:50 PM
Rainey, it is a difficult decision but I think you will be glad you went this road. I will be thinking of you. Keep us posted
03-30-2008, 11:36 PM
Rainey, I understand how hard it can be deciding when it's right to tell the kids. I ended up talking to my 10 year old daughter right away. I have been suffering more and more debilitating symptoms and just can't keep up with her anymore. The echo was inconclusive and had to have a heart catheterization done. It was this procedure that gave my diagnosis.
My daughter could see that I wasn't well and I felt it best to be open and honest with her from the beginning. Also, she has been really into cheerleading and needed her to understand what signs to look for during games and practices. So far, she shows no signs of HCM.
I think you made the right decision to fill the kids in. Good luck with the echos.
03-31-2008, 10:28 AM
Rainey..good luck w/ the talk and the screenings. I think your daughters will be relieved to learn the answers to questions that they may well have been formulating in their minds. Children usually sense troubles and a change in our behaviors can open them to many fears and uncertainties. I believe the talk will put all that in perspective.
When my girls were 5 and 6, I was pregnant w/ their brother. The oldest thought I had cancer and was dying as my abdomen grew and she saw that I was so sick a lot. Later, I cried at how tortured her little mind must have been worrying and wondering to herself. We all cried together and then laughed when I told them the real deal.
Telling them about HCM is different from telling them about a pregnancy but, no doubt there are questions and uncertainties that they may have been thinking as they have watched you.
03-31-2008, 01:44 PM
Thanks, all, for your well-wishes. If my kids weren't all so obsessed with sports, I wouldn't be as nervous about telling them but it's just hard no matter what. With the 4 and 6-year old I will just explain that I have a heart issue that keeps me from doing all that I used to do but that I'm still okay. With my oldest I know that I'll have to put more details into it but I'm still just planning to tell her that I have "cardiomyopathy which just means that my heart has thickened a little and isn't as efficient as it used to be" but that I will keep an eye on it and try to be good about not over-stressing things. I just hope that she isn't afraid to push herself in her sporting endeavors because of what MAY be for her 30 years down the road, you know? I guess she'll have to police herself and we'll have to give her time to acclimate to everything. I'm hoping for the best. She said about a month ago that I don't laugh as much as I used to. That REALLY hit me hard because I'm a bit of a cut-up, a clown if you will, and she saw it no matter how much I thought I was acting normal, she saw it so yeah, Pam, I don't think they have ANY idea what is going on they know that SOMETHING is up. I'll let you all know how it went. Thanks for the well-wishes.
03-31-2008, 03:52 PM
After I told my daughter, I had the same fear that she would be too afraid to keep up her very active lifestyle. It hasn't slowed her down one bit. In fact, I'm always asking her to slow down for me because I can't keep up.
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